Yesterday’s post was concerned with memory, the voluntary recall of events from the past. Today I want to turn my attention to the world of dreams, mostly because of the dreams I had last night. I think the themes of our recurring dreams reflect some of our deeper anxieties and insecurities. The theme of my dream last night was having to return to my undergraduate studies. The main elements were feeling lost, not knowing where I was supposed to be going, feeling that I am missing out on a whole series of lectures, the sense that I will be asked to do an exam on the topics covered by these lectures, the sense that actually I have already graduated and qualified so it’s not really fair that I have to be here at all. I’m not sure what the underlying anxieties are, but I think they are related to the “imposter syndrome” – feeling that I’m not really qualified, that there has been a mistake, that it was all about good luck and it is only a matter of time before I am found out.
An interesting aspect of last night’s dream was that it was played out against a soundtrack of “Careful with that axe, Eugene” by Pink Floyd, a track I haven’t heard for years. I woke wondering why. And then during my travels today I remembered that yesterday in the car I heard on the radio an item about the dangers of using chainsaws. An intriguing link, I feel, but any meaning escapes me. To borrow from Zen, a psychologist trying to understand his dreams is like a sword trying to cut itself. Apposite.
Oh, I remain abstinent. First yoga class tonight – more details in a future post perhaps. I did cat, dog, warrior and pigeon. Now I have to consult my lecture timetable to find out where I need to be tomorrow – wherever it is, I haven’t done the assignment.