Task 4 – Write for your ideal audience and try to include a new element in your post.
Oh I am so pleased you have found me at last. Come in, come in, I’m sure it must have been a long and tiring journey. Did you bring wine? Never mind, I’ll get the kettle on and see if I can’t just find a cheeky little bottle in the cellar.
I see you have already noticed my emotional warmth, my charm and openness, my subtle humour. It is so de rigeur, don’t you think, to lace the serious with a little levity? As Billy Shakespeare so often remarked, if music be the food of love, then tell a joke or two, alas poor Yorrick, I knew his mum.
I think it was the French philosopher Irene Descartes who proposed that the mind and brain were separate nonentities in a state of constant conflict, giving rise to the concept of Cartesian Duelism – which, incidentally, and how fortuitously, I tried to depict pictorially with a couple of photographs on another of my little sites!
May I pour you another glass of wine? Some more peanuts perhaps? Would you like to see my rendition of Irish Dancing, my arms hardly move at all?! I have a thousand photographs of sunrises and sunsets we could admire together. I think it was John Stuart Mill, philosopher and founder of the dark satanic mills that bear his name, who wrote about condoms and dignity – apparently, if I swing a stick with a condom on the end I have to miss your nose. I tried this in Morrison’s the other day, but sadly, due to a miscalculation on my part, I sent the display of analgesic tablets flying. Ironically, one of the boxes hit the store manager on his nose, so at the end of the day I’m not sure if Mr Mill’s theory has been supported or brought into doubt. What is not in doubt, however, is that Sainsbury’s will be enjoying my custom from now on.
Oh, you’re not leaving already? We are only just getting to know each other! Stay a little longer. Sorry? You just remembered you have a wife? Oh, a life! No, no, that’s fine. Rejoin the world – but can I put you down as a follower?
I made an unintentional error in my Malapropic reference to “Beyond Freedom and Dignity”, which is a treatise on behaviourism by B. F. Skinner. The Mill’s work I meant to reference was “On Liberty”. And here’s me, taking liberties…